


Kill to end the Murder

by songohanfan1



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, mentions of Sober Gamzee, people die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 19:31:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2037240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songohanfan1/pseuds/songohanfan1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He really fucking wished it hadn't come to this, but when you're the fucking leader sometimes you've got to do things you don't like. Even if it means killing your best motherfucking friend</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kill to end the Murder

Karkat: Do it-->

 

 

 

You unfortunately succeed in doing it. And it pretty much kills you inside. Rips you up until you know for a fucking fact that you'll never be whole again. This will last. It always does.

At least, from what you hear from Terezi and Kanaya.

They've assured you that no matter what you do, no matter how fucking hard you try and wish you could forget, this will fucking haunt you. 

But it needed to be done.

When you land from the leaping lunge you made at Gamzee, his head falls with a horrible thunk that makes you want to throw up your bilesack and rip off your auricular sponge clots and wish you'd never been hatched with them.

As you bring your sickle around you, against your will, take a huge notice of the more than decent amount of rich purple blood that happens to be both dripping from it and staining it. You know from Gamzee that the really dark colors are almost impossible to wash completely off.

Good. You don't want to forget what you just did ever. It's okay, as you said before, you won't be able to.

You stand up from the kneeling position you landed in and force yourself to turn around. 

You do.

And wish you hadn't.

Everywhere you look, there's dark, royal highblood purple. Oh. There's still some pouring out of his neck.

Well, that's going into the folder you have in your thinkpan for sights you wish you could un-see.

Right next to Gamzee and Terezi hatemaking-out.

You set your sights on the rest of his body and feel tears welling up.

You hadn't meant for it to end like this. You just wanted to be respected and play a game with your horrible fuckass friends.

A shitton of a lot more happened than that.

You are in fact, now missing the vast fuckass majority of your party and are left with one crazy ocular-licker and a lesbian vampire fashion queen.

Oh, and one disembodied Gamzee head.

Great, now he'll be forced to listen to your problems, like he didn't do back when he was alive.

Speaking of, you look around for wherever that thing could've rolled off to. You spot it next to a foot. Terezi's foot to be exact. And when you look at her face it's stained teal. Even though no tears are actively pouring out. She notices you staring and looks back at you. Well, since she's right there.

You point down to the head and she nods. She slowly bends down to get it. She grabs him by the horns.

For whatever reason, when you say 'him' it makes it sound like Gamzee is still living, so you're going to have to refrain from referring to his head like that from now on.

But he was living.

She takes one long, despondent gaze at it before closing her eyes, her pain obvious. She turns her head, to shield you from the tears you know she's shedding, and hands it over to you.

Hmm.

You hadn't ever really wanted a decapitated head that was leaking all types of ungodly fluids in your hands before. But right now, it's all you can do not to hug it.

As you look at the thing, you see the face he wore right when he realized what was happening. Exactly how far you had been prepared to go. When he understood that his moirail, the one person he fucking trusted, would be the one to end him. To end his reign of fucking horror and terror.

It's a look of shock, and oddly enough, understanding.

You turn around again, this time looking for Kanaya.

When you find her, she standing above Gamzee's headless body and is just shaking her head slowly. You know she didn't want it to come to this. She had been against your plan from before you even told her about it.

She said she knew what you were planning because of the dead look your eyes had taken.

She knew it would scar you.

But it had to be done, and everyone has their scars.

She kneels down next to his body, takes his hands and crosses them over each other. She's settling the body.

She starts to say something.

" Karkat, I believe he actually had some level of wanting for this to happen. He knew he was out of control, knew he needed to be stopped but couldn't stop himself. What you did was for the good of everyone. Even him." You shake your head.

You really fucking don't want to hear that right now.

You already knew you failed at moirailing.

You walk over to help her. And you notice something.

Something that happened after Kanaya wisely shut her meddlesome trap.

There's not any sound being made. 

No cackling laughter.

No chainsaw revving.

And certainly no godforsaken honking, that brings the promise of dark unspeakable pain and horror.

It's as if for this single fucking moment, people are actually giving the deserved moment of silence.

People know that a piece of everyone was lost with this horrible troll.

You will say this: That was the single hardest thing you've ever done.

You really fucking wish it hadn't come to that. He was your moirail.

The real Gamzee, the side no one ever got to see, you're certain was a great guy.

He just...lost himself.

He got lost, and was so motherfucking tired. Tired of being forgotten, overlooked. Tired of being ignored.

Tired of being abandoned.

He just snapped.

You really fucking loved that guy.

He was your best motherfucking friend. And you know that you, if not everyone left in your group will find some way to bring everyone back. To bring him back.

And when he does come back, you hope he'll be able to forgive you. Hope he'll be able to heal you from the scars you just got ripped into you, when you had to kill your other fucking half. Because now, you're an incomplete diamond.

You hope he'll forgive you.

Because you refuse to forgive yourself.

So, as you fall to the ground fucking sobbing like the abandoned wiggler Gamzee was, you just rust.

It's like the tears you're sobbing right now for what you did, are also what's not letting you pusher work. Not letting your lungs get enough air. You just rust.

When you rust, you do so with the knowledge that one day you'll become fucking dust and just fade the fuck away. Once things rust, there's no going back.

So as you sit here rusting, you know you'll never be the same.

Not without your other half.


End file.
